Is hell exothermic or endothermic?

Please don't laugh. The above question has serious implications for our future. To solve this puzzle, we must first consider the rate at which souls enter and leave hell. I think we can safely assume that once a soul goes to hell, it cannot leave.

Hence the mass of hell continually increases at an exponential rate due to our current death rates. We must next find the rate at which souls enter. Hell, now, most religions insist that unless you are a member of that particular religion, you will end up in hell. Since you cannot be a member of more than one religion, you are destined to go to hell anyway.

Now if the volume of hell increases at a rate slower than that at which souls enter, by Doyle's law, its temperature will increase. However, ff the volume of hell increases at a rate far greater than that at which souls enter, the temperature of hell will drop.

Since my physics teacher said that it will be a cold day in hell before I manage to do well in my physics exam, and since I have not succeeded in the above, I conclude therefore that hell is exothermic.

 

¾ Anand Jayachandran, Std XII‑D

Coimbatore

 

© The New Indian Express, 2001